Improve Your Chances of Getting Them to Hear/Listen

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In a recent survey, I asked for your most pressing questions about giving and receiving critical feedback.

The following are a few of the specific questions I seek to answer through this podcast:

  • Which is more important – immediate feedback or feedback that is thought out and approached in a “softer” manner?
  • Is feedback ALWAYS important?
  • How do I give feedback in a way, words, tone, etc, that improves the chance of the person getting the feedback will actually “hear/listen” to it?
  • How can I be less afraid of or defensive about receiving feedback?

A few of the keys I mentioned in the podcast are:

  • Systematic desensitization. Systematically, over time, desensitize yourself to feelings of rejection by continually asking for, and using, feedback to your benefit.
  • Defensiveness is a result of insecurities.
  • Strengthen your self-esteem, and sense of personal security by journaling every evening – at the top of the paper write:
    • My qualities: {Write 3 good qualities you demonstrated in this day}
    • Gratitude: {Write about 3 things you’re grateful for that happened that day}
    • Learning: Make note of what you learned in that day. If you cannot think of anything you learned, go to your computer, type in tedx.com, and watch a speech about a topic of interest to you.

Defensiveness decreases when self-esteem increases. Self-esteem increases as you put time and energy into getting to know, and appreciate, yourself. The exercise above is an excellent starting point for opening yourself up to gobs of growth-provoking feedback.

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