National Public Radio Submission ~ This I believe

I’ve read many self-help books – I even listen to them in my car. I have watched and taken many self-development courses and seminars, created a dream book, recorded myself saying positive affirmations and I go to therapy every week. Yet, every day I find myself struggling to accept myself exactly as I am

Just over a week ago, my book made bestseller on Amazon, I found an exceptional new intern, my fiancé proposed to me and I turned thirty. The day after my thirtieth birthday, I found myself in tears. I looked down at my brand new, gorgeous engagement ring, and found myself struggling not to take it off. I didn’t think I deserved such a beautiful ring.

As I sat there with tears rolling down my face, all I could think about was how unworthy I was to have such an extraordinary ring. Only extremely beautiful, successful women, who come from a different background, deserve such a ring.

I come from very humble beginnings, spending the majority of my young adult life in a trailer with two brothers and a sister – I am the baby of four children. My dad has always worked as an automobile mechanic and my mother mostly worked for the state government. With four children and an addiction to alcohol, it was a real challenge to make their bills every month.

Now, here I am, a successful entrepreneur, best selling author, newly engaged to a wonderful person and I still have not figured out how to let go of the words that seem to echo throughout my head – “I’m not good enough.” I know it comes from my past and I want so badly to release it.

I know that consistently releasing “I’m not good enough” and replacing it with “I am better than good! I already am who I want to be. I’m loving, caring, supportive and generous.” Creating those thoughts will only help me become more effective in all my coaching, speaking, consulting, writing and friendships.

Now, here I am, with employees who are counting on me for their livelihood and a real desire to make a difference through the work we do. I am scared. I know that in order to reach my dreams I need to become the woman I’m meant to be. I also know that trusting in myself and the Universe is what I must do.

I believe that learning to let go of the past, provides the presence to embrace the now.