Sometimes, the parts of us that once protected us end up holding us back.
For most of my life, perfectionism was my armor — my way of feeling safe in a world that often felt unpredictable. It made me sharp, driven, and dependable. It helped me succeed. But as I’ve grown and done deeper inner work, I’ve come to see how much that same perfectionism has also cost me — my ease, my joy, and often, my sense of belonging.
So, I wrote it a letter.
Dear perfectionism,
You probably saved my life as a child – thank you.
Now, you are significantly limiting the life inside of me. The role you played helped me – but now you’re hurting me, and I’m ready to be free of you. I’m ready to release the need for you, and I want you to know that I am here, fully aware, and ready to own my greatness.
Greatness isn’t perfect… well, it is perfect for me — it’s fun, loving, and free.
My greatness – all that I am – is now fully appreciated and loved by me, including you. I love you – you’re just fear dressed up.
As of this moment, I want you to know that I am driving this beautiful bus called Misti – I have her 100%.
Here’s what that means: she belongs to me, she belongs everywhere she goes, and I’m right there with her in all these situations.
I can see her gifts and talents, and also her fears – and I am now the one to provide comfort, protection, and all the reassurance she needs to remember how very loved she is.
She will never be without love again.
If she feels abandoned, I am here to remind her of the truth – I am here, witnessing her journey and her dreams.
I love Misti completely, and I will stop at nothing to ensure that she knows how much I treasure her.
You have been fully released of your duty – I’ve got her now.
Love, mama Misti.
Writing this letter was a statement of love — a line in the sand. A commitment to mothering myself with the same reverence and care I’ve always given others.
My therapist, Gayle, once said:
“Fear isn’t going away — it’s just a matter of who drives the bus.”
She shared a story about how her fear of gaining weight was pushing her to swim. Instead of letting that fear run the show, she flipped it off (literally!) and said, “No. I love swimming. I love how I feel in the water. I’m doing this because I want to.”
And then she swam. Not from fear, but from love.
That story hit me hard.
I realized how often fear has driven my own bus — fear of not being enough, fear of judgment, fear of slowing down. Sometimes fear pushes me to exercise, speak up, or push through. But when I act from desire instead, everything feels lighter.
I ride my bike because I love the wind.
I walk because it clears my head.
I dance because it brings me back to myself.
I swim because it makes me feel alive.
That’s the shift — not removing fear, but choosing love as the driver.
These days, I ask myself one simple question:
Who’s driving the bus — fear or desire?
My body knows the answer every time.
When desire drives, life feels expansive.
When fear drives, everything tightens.
I’m learning to listen. To trust. To let love steer.
Because when love drives, the whole ride feels different. 💛
Reflection for You
What old protector in you might be ready for retirement?
Who’s driving your bus today — fear or desire?
If this resonates with you, explore more about shifting your mindset to lead with authenticity orchoosing courage over fear.
For self-care inspiration, check out practicing radical self-care and healing your inner child.
Looking to deepen the conversation?
Misti Burmeister speaks to leaders and teams about trust, communication, and the human dynamics that shape real performance. Her work helps people notice what’s happening beneath the surface—so better decisions, stronger relationships, and healthier cultures can emerge.
If you’re exploring a speaker for an upcoming event, workshop, or retreat, Misti would love to connect.
Reach out: [email protected]
Here’s To Your Greatness,
Misti Burmeister
Misti Burmeister is a dynamic coach and speaker with an unparalleled ability to unlock potential and inspire transformation. Known for her energy, enthusiasm, and passion, Misti awakens thought patterns and fosters meaningful change in individuals and teams alike. With over 20 years of experience, she is celebrated for improving communication, accountability, and personal responsibility across organizations.
Described as a “world-class archeologist” by Captain Ken Barrett, U.S. Navy, Misti excels at uncovering the hidden treasures within every person she interacts with. Her groundbreaking philosophies on two-way communication and personal responsibility are the foundation for lasting success, empowering organizations to achieve extraordinary results.