Welcome to Misti's Insights

I was at a crab feast over the weekend when I found myself talking with a man I’ll call Tom. He’s a successful entrepreneur who built a restaurant business locally, eventually sold it, and now works a few days a week at a local hardware store mostly because he enjoys...

Not long ago, a woman came to Lewes Leadership Lunch for the first time. We had originally connected because she was exploring the possibility of doing some work with me. I thought she was coming to experience L3 and get a better sense of me and what I had created....

A senior leader criticized a colleague for asking “basic questions.” The real impact wasn’t on the person being discussed—it was on everyone listening. Here’s what leaders need to understand about judgment, psychological safety, and the conditions required for learning.
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During a coaching session, a senior leader shared a story that stopped me in my tracks.
Another leader had commented that a colleague asked “basic questions” and “must not really know their stuff.”
What happened next was fascinating.
My client—an accomplished leader herself—immediately began wondering whether that same judgment was being applied to her.
That’s the hidden cost of judgment.
People stop asking questions.
They stop exposing uncertainty.
They become more concerned with appearing competent than becoming more competent.
And organizations lose opportunities to learn.
In my latest article, I explore how leaders unintentionally teach people whether it’s safe to learn.

A few days ago, my wife logged off a company-wide meeting and sat quietly for a moment.  She works for a video game studio that has experienced layoffs every year since being acquired by a much larger company. Like many people in gaming and technology, she has learned...

I learned something recently that I can’t stop thinking about. I’ve spent years teaching leaders how to sit with people who are struggling. When someone is scared, overwhelmed, grieving, uncertain, or frustrated, most of us feel an urge to help. Unfortunately, what we...

There’s a local restaurant I visit from time to time. The food is excellent. The coffee is excellent. The owner works incredibly hard. And every time I go there, I notice the same thing. The employees seem overwhelmed.   Not because they’re lazy. Not because they...

A couple of weeks ago, I shared what my jellyfish suit taught me about leadership. The jellyfish were still in the Delaware Bay, but the suit, gloves, and booties gave me enough protection to return to something I love.  The response to that story was overwhelming....

Yesterday, after what felt like a very successful Lewes Leadership Lunch (L3), I received a text message from one of our members. “Can I give you some constructive criticism?” Before I go any further, let me offer a piece of feedback about feedback: Please don’t start...

Last year, I stopped swimming in the Delaware Bay—not because I stopped loving it, but because the jellyfish had become too exhausting. My body doesn’t respond well to their stings. One encounter can leave me uncomfortable for the next ten to fifteen hours....

At the end of the last Lewes Leadership Lunch, a young manager came up to me and asked: “How do I get older employees to listen to me?” She went on to explain: “The people my age listen to me. They do what I tell them to do. But the older employees respond...

Grief isn’t always about losing someone who’s gone—it can be about losing what you hoped for. I call this “undefined grief.” It’s the pain of letting go—not of what was, but of what could have been. Right now, many of us are living with this kind of grief. It’s the...

A couple of weeks ago, I had an experience that surprised me with just how much it revealed—not just about myself, but about leadership. I went for an open water swim, something I usually enjoy. I was wearing my second skin—a suit designed to protect the body from...

What happened when I stopped pretending to listen—and what it taught me about being present. Last night, my friend Maya was talking to me about a difficult conversation she needs to have with someone on her team. It’s one of those situations where emotions,...

I recently spoke in a group where people come together to share their personal journeys. That morning, I found myself opening up about the chronic body pain I’ve been navigating for several years now. It’s the kind of pain that doesn’t just hurt physically—it limits,...

I don’t think most leaders realize how quickly obligation distorts presence. It took a $70 networking ticket for me to see it happen in real time—in myself. A colleague invited me to an event. At the time, I didn’t realize he had personally paid the guest fee. Before...