“If I’m not an athlete, then who am I?”
It’s a question I first asked myself in college, when—for the first time—I couldn’t play sports. My body had defined me, my discipline had validated me, and my performance had given me belonging. When I lost that version of myself, I felt lost entirely.
So I did what many of us do—I found a new identity.
Student. I threw myself into that role with everything I had. My sense of worth, safety, and belonging became tethered to academic achievement. Later came Graduate Assistant, then NIH Fellow, then Massage Therapist, then Entrepreneur, then Speaker… each title a suit of armor, each one offering meaning—and pressure.
I wasn’t pretending. Every identity was real.
But every identity was also temporary.
And beneath all of it… I was still searching for who I really was.
The Identity Trap
We’re taught to build ourselves through roles: career, relationship status, job titles, accomplishments. But what happens when those roles shift? What happens when the “jersey comes off”?
I’ve watched countless athletes and high performers wrestle with this.
I’ve watched professionals and business owners hold tightly to their titles—because to lose the role would feel like losing their worth.
It’s terrifying when your sense of self is built on things that can be taken away.
But what if your truest identity was the one thing that can’t be lost?
What Endures
Over time, as I cycled through identities that fit for a season and then faded, I started to see something more stable underneath.
Yes, I am an athlete at heart. A coach, a communicator, a student of life.
But even when all of that falls away, I remain:
I am Love.
Not a role.
Not a résumé line.
Not something earned or proven.
Just a way of being—with myself, with others, and in the world.
When I lead, speak, write, and connect from that space—everything aligns.
That’s the identity that creates lasting belonging. That’s the identity I’ll never need to abandon or perform for. That’s my forever home.
Why This Matters for Leaders
In corporate and entrepreneurial spaces, we rarely talk about identity unless it’s tied to performance. But this is the root of so many cultural issues inside businesses.
When people only feel valuable because of what they do or produce, it leads to burnout, competition, and disconnection. But when people feel seen, safe, and significant just for who they are, they show up differently:
They collaborate more freely
They create with less fear
They lead with more heart
Belonging is not a perk—it’s a prerequisite for a healthy culture. And that starts with leaders who know who they are beyond what they do.
The L3 Space: Belonging in Action
This is why I created L3—a space for leaders, learners, and lovers of growth to gather. It’s not about titles or egos. It’s about contributing from the inside out.
Being part of L3 means:
- You’re willing to share your voice.
- You want to grow with others.
- You believe leadership is an act of love.
It’s a generous space, because love is generous. And when people feel safe to bring their full selves, that’s when transformation happens.
Final Thought
If you’ve been wondering who you are now that your jersey is off—whether that jersey was athletic, academic, corporate, or creative—here’s what I want you to know:
You are not your title.
You are not your past performance.
You are not what people expect you to be.
You are Love.
And from that place, you will always belong.
Want to build a culture of true belonging in your company or community? Let’s talk.
Looking to deepen the conversation?
Misti Burmeister speaks to leaders and teams about trust, communication, and the human dynamics that shape real performance. Her work helps people notice what’s happening beneath the surface—so better decisions, stronger relationships, and healthier cultures can emerge.
If you’re exploring a speaker for an upcoming event, workshop, or retreat, Misti would love to connect.
Reach out: [email protected]
Here’s To Your Greatness,
Misti Burmeister
Misti Burmeister is a leadership coach and speaker with over two decades of experience helping leaders strengthen communication, accountability, and trust. Known for her ability to uncover what’s unspoken, she helps individuals and teams create clarity, responsibility, and sustainable change.