Recently, a thoughtful reader responded to one of my blog prompts with this:

“Biggest challenge: making sure to lean into opportunities for being a leader while having a role that is primarily a solo contributor.

Wish more people were talking about a definition of leadership I recently read, i.e., ‘choices to create a better future.’ What does that mean to people? How do we each live it out?”

That last line stuck with me: “How do we each live it out?”

I want to respond not with theory — but with a story. A true one. My own.

Living Leadership Without a Title

I live in a small town. I moved here three years ago, and while I’ve done my best to get involved, contribute, and offer my expertise — I’m still relatively unknown. I haven’t been invited to speak at local events, despite putting my name forward. At one point, I was even offered the “opportunity” to pay to speak.

That didn’t sit right.

I also noticed that there wasn’t a platform for community members to share leadership lessons or real-world experience. The chambers of commerce don’t host their members to speak. If you want to teach something, you have to organize and market it yourself.

So I did just that.

I Created L3: The Lewes Leadership Luncheon

L3 is a space where leaders — with or without titles — can come together monthly to share ideas, stories, and strategies. It’s a room for people who are doing good work, not just talking about it. The only cost is $45, which covers lunch. But the real “price” is contribution: you show up ready to share what’s working for you.

But I didn’t do it alone.

I asked Mark O’Donnell — someone I didn’t know all that well — to cofound L3 with me. That was a risk. I didn’t know how he’d respond, how aligned we’d be, or how we’d collaborate. But I trusted my instinct, and he said yes. Together, we started building something that didn’t exist before.

We now have a sponsor who provides the location, and I’m actively pursuing a sponsor for the food. It’s not a lot of money — but it’s enough. And I take stewardship of that support seriously.

Here’s what I plan to do with it:

• There’s a young woman in town who’s just starting her own business. She’s gifted with social media and edits video beautifully. I want to hire her to create speaker highlight reels. It gives our speakers visibility and gives her paid experience.
• Any leftover funds after core expenses will be donated to a local nonprofit that supports the homeless.

This is not just about a luncheon. It’s about building leadership, community, and compassion — with the resources we have.

The Risk of Showing Up

Of course, putting yourself out there comes with vulnerability.

I’ve sent personal invitations to people I believe in — people I hoped would find L3 meaningful. Some said yes right away. Some ignored it. But one response, in particular, caught me off guard.

It came from someone I used to be close with. We had exchanged birthday gifts. Supported each other. Shared warm moments.

After I invited him to L3 via text, this was his response:

“Misti. For future reference I have blocked you from my contacts. I don’t appreciate you soliciting me on my personal cell phone. For me this is a violation in the trust I gave you by giving you my personal number… I let the first one slide but this is now becoming a pattern that I do not want any part of.”

That word — pattern — really struck me. Because I had sent him the exact same message I’d sent to many others. Most saw it as what it was: an invitation. One person saw it as a breach of trust.

Same message. Very different story.

It was sudden. Harsh. And painful.

But this, too, is leadership. The vulnerability of stepping forward. The risk of being misunderstood. The possibility that your invitation — no matter how well-intentioned — might be rejected.

What I’ve Learned About Leadership

Leadership — at its core — is exactly what that reader shared:

A choice to create a better future.

It’s not about being chosen. It’s about choosing.

Here’s what I’ve learned by leading L3:

1. Leadership Is a Choice, Not a Title. No one asked me to start L3. No one handed me a microphone. I saw a need and I stepped in. You don’t need permission to lead. You just need the courage to begin.
2. Every Invitation Comes With Risk. Some will say yes. Some will ignore you. Some might even react poorly. But what’s riskier? Staying silent. Rejection is a bruise — not a verdict.
3. Creating What You Wish Existed Is Leadership. I didn’t wait for someone to create a platform for leadership. I built it. Leadership is about building the things you want to see in the world.
4. Passion Is a Form of Leadership. I love coaching. I love leadership. I love creating space for people to grow. L3 lets me do that — and that makes it worth the effort. Doing what lights you up will naturally illuminate the path for others.
5. You Can’t Control the Outcome — Only the Effort. Whether one person shows up or 30, I’m still showing up. And that matters. Leadership is showing up — even when the room is empty.
6. Stewardship Is Leadership. It’s not just about raising support. It’s about using that support wisely. I’m committed to investing sponsorship funds back into the community — through people and causes that matter. Leadership means being a good steward of the trust and resources you’re given — no matter how small.
7. Shared Leadership Is Still Leadership. I didn’t have to invite someone in — but I did. I trusted someone I barely knew to co-lead. And in doing so, I learned that collaboration can be a risk… and a gift. You don’t have to know someone deeply to believe in their potential — or your own instinct in extending the invitation.

Final Thought: The Greatest Risk

The greatest risk isn’t rejection. It’s not the awkward text or the empty seat. It’s not giving yourself the chance to try. So to the reader who asked, “How do we live it out?”

We live it out by choosing.

We live it out by risking.

We live it out by creating.

And we live it out by showing up — title or not.

Over to You

What does your version of “creating a better future” look like right now — even if no one is watching?

I’d love to hear about it.