If you’re leading significant change and facing resistance, this may be the most important question you ask yourself this year:
Are you tightening strategy—or tightening control?
The difference determines whether trust expands or erodes.
An executive I work with recently had an official complaint filed against her. Her first reaction was defensive, angry, embarrassed, and, if I’m being honest, a little gossipy. The complaint itself was valid.
She’s leading meaningful change inside her organization, and as often happens, that change has created resistance. Instead of leaning into the fear and uncertainty in the room, she had been pushing harder. She was forcing compliance, tightening control, and trying to prove she belonged in her role.
Because underneath it all, she wasn’t fully sure she did.
Most leaders in that situation would blame the complainant, escalate control, or quietly retaliate. She did something different.
She responded:
“Thank you for the feedback on my leadership practices. I will continue working on my professional growth.”
That sentence sounds simple, but it wasn’t.
It required her to shift from “I am bad” to “I have blind spots.” That’s the difference between taking feedback personally and taking it professionally.
And I know this territory.
I’ve had moments where criticism hit a tender place—where my nervous system tightened and my mind immediately wanted to defend. Sometimes I laughed it off. Sometimes I felt the sting for days. Sometimes I found myself wanting to prove something. The real work isn’t eliminating that contraction. The real work is noticing it.
Because when leaders can regulate that initial tightening—that surge of shame, defensiveness, or anger—they regain choice. And choice is maturity.
Her old strategies were protecting one thing: her fear of not being enough. But control doesn’t create belonging. It creates distance.
This time, instead of defending her ego, she strengthened trust. She signaled that she wasn’t perfect, that she was willing to grow, and that she cared more about the organization than she did about being right.
When leaders model that kind of non-defensive accountability, culture shifts. People speak more directly. Innovation increases. Trust expands. Employees stop spending energy managing the leader’s reactions and start investing that energy into solving problems.
Acknowledging imperfection doesn’t weaken authority. It humanizes it. And humanized authority builds stronger organizations.
The real question isn’t whether you receive criticism.
The real question is what happens inside you when it arrives.
Does your nervous system contract—or can you stay open long enough to learn?
That’s leadership maturity.
If you’re leading change and noticing more resistance than alignment, the issue may not be your strategy. It may be your reactivity.
Executive maturity isn’t about eliminating insecurity.
It’s about leading without letting it run the room.
If you’re ready to do that work, let’s talk.
Here’s to your greatness,
Misti Burmeister
Misti Burmeister partners with leaders who want to grow without losing themselves. She helps executives navigate difficult conversations with maturity, turning resistance into engagement and feedback into trust.