At the end of the last Lewes Leadership Lunch, a young manager came up to me and asked:
“How do I get older employees to listen to me?”
She went on to explain:
“The people my age listen to me. They do what I tell them to do. But the older employees respond differently. I watch how they respond to the owner of the business because she’s older than me, and I want them to respond to me the same way.”
There are so many directions you could take a question like that.
Maybe age is part of it.
But maybe it’s not.
Maybe they respond differently to the owner because she owns the business.
Maybe because she has built trust over time.
Maybe because people experience her as someone invested in their success instead of someone trying to gain compliance.
One of the biggest misunderstandings new leaders have is believing leadership is primarily about getting people to do what you tell them to do.
It’s not.
Leadership is about helping people succeed.
And when people genuinely feel that from you, age matters a whole lot less.
The strongest leaders I know are not obsessed with control, authority, or proving themselves.
They ask questions.
They stay curious.
They communicate clearly.
They support people.
They create trust.
They help people feel capable and valued.
Ironically, that is often what creates influence.
Not demanding respect, but becoming someone people trust enough to follow.
People can feel the difference between:
“Do what I say because I’m in charge.”
and
“I want to help you succeed.”
One creates compliance.
The other creates commitment.
If this resonates with you, I hope you’ll share it with another leader who may be trying too hard to earn authority instead of building trust.
And if your organization is navigating communication challenges, generational tension, leadership growth, accountability issues, or the pressure that comes with leading people well, I’d love to support you through coaching, speaking, or leadership development work.
Here is your greatness,
Misti Burmeister
Misti Burmeister is a leadership communication expert who helps founder-CEOs and senior leaders build trust, strengthen accountability, and create ownership through courageous conversations and human-centered leadership. Her work focuses on helping leaders notice what others miss in human dynamics so they can communicate in ways that help people succeed — not just comply.